These guys get a bad wrap ever since the disinformation campaign known as Genesis. These guys get a bad wrap ever since the disinformation campaign known as Genesis.

Devin Rodriguez, 23, a full stack JavaScript Code Ninja, accidentally summoned Satan this past Saturday when trying to use his latest project’s build pipeline.

He was experimenting with a new build task manager when a heretofore unknown combination of tools lead to him summoning the Prince of Darkness and Father of All Lies.

“You always hear cranky old dudes complaining about how JavaScript has a bunch of problems but I always just figured they were dumb,” Rodriguez related. “I guess they might have had a point or something.”

“I was just doing my thing, you know? I had gulp running my stuff like eyeglass so that I could compile my SCSS and all of that was being pushed into broccoli which was webpacking and browserfying those and then everything was getting transpiled by babel and then of course I had that all being piped into grunt which was running jshint and jslint. Nothing out of the ordinary. Anyway, I decided to drive the initial kick off with a Makefile and suddenly there’s this, like, dark presence in my room with me.”

“Oh yeah,” Beelzebub said, “the Makefile is what really pushed it over the edge. It was just too much evil in one place. I’m like a moth to a flame. I actually end up at a lot of JavaScript developers houses recently. It’s a great language. A lot of really bad stuff happens in there. Have you seen npm?”

Asked if these frequent summonings impacted his duties in Hell, Abbadon the Deceiver, Serpent of Old shrugged off the inconvenience. “It’s nice to do house calls again. I was really popular a few hundred years ago but then all my big fans got burned at the stake. It’s been kind of quiet since then. A politician here, a celebrity there. Real relaxed pace. It’s nice to be busy again.”

Rodriguez wasn’t so thrilled, however, “I’m still trying to get the sulfur smell out of my room. I do not want to have to pay a cleaning deposit just because Satan likes JavaScript. I don’t think he should be involved in the community at all.”

The NodeJS Technical Steering Committee published the following statement, “Mr. Rodriguez’s thoughtless comments about the Prince of Darkness do not reflect our core values of inclusivity and openness. We believe everyone that is interested in JavaScript development should have the opportunity to be a part of it. We encourage the Son of the Morning to get involved and urge other leading JavaScript projects to open their arms as well.”